So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
