Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
cat food counts as protein by the way
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I want to be your penis for a week.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
