Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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