allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I have peed in a lot of sinks
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
