And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Randomize
