Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
