My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
