The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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