what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
