I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Fuck appropriateness.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Randomize
