They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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