She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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