It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
