can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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