So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
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