Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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