I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
