Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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