He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Randomize
