you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
