there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
