Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
