so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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