I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
its not stalking. its research.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
