I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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