i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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