My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
