We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
