two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
