Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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