I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
