There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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