I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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