Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
