I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Randomize
