So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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