how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
