He is like the real live version of the state fair..
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
