her vagine was all disorganized.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
you would pick up someone in the library
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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