I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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