Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
