Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
