so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
