What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
