all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
