she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
