And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
