everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
why is half of my head shaved?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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