you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
it's like iHOP with fire
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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