you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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