I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
