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If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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